I am writing this retrospectively so unfortunately I have forgotten some of the small details of this time but I will try...
I couldn't believe we had made it to 6 months. 6 months felt like a big deal. It felt like we had reached a plateau of sorts and we now had the chance to stop, take a breather and look at the view. WOW is the best word to describe it.
Every month has been so different and so much change has occurred. But now I felt like Annabelle was turning into a real baby instead of being in that newborn stage. I felt like I wanted her to freeze in time and stay the baby she now was...forever. She was so cute and was coming so alive! She was making raspberries, and saying cool sounds like aboo! and sucking in air sounds. She was sitting and rolling but couldn't move very fast yet so this felt like I perfect age to stay. She had overall become happier and more stable as her dad likes to say. Little did I know that time after this just continued to speed up! Soon 7 months, 8 months, and now she almost 10 months! Holding on isn't part of this game.
I also remember at this time feeling accomplished to have made it as a mother this far. Motherhood had proven to be a hard job and I felt to have done a job well done! A couple of the ways I have been personally challenged by the transition into motherhood is constantly having to make so many little decisions all the time never knowing if you decision was the best one and questioning if you would have different consequences if you chose otherwise. Facing your self doubt and inner frustrations at not doing things perfectly. Motherhood is a messy job no one is doing it perfectly! It takes a while to get that. Also what has been surprisingly challenging in this transition to motherhood has been realizing how selfish I had become with my time and figuring out how to constantly let that go. Just when you think, ok , now I have this moment for me, Ive done all I need to do for her, its her nap or bed time, time to chill. Then she cries out and you are forced to let go of yours desires and attachment to spending your time any other way than shusshing my precious baby to sleep, once again.. Motherhood has proven to be a really hard yoga asana for sure! Letting go... giving it up, once again, for a greater love.
